Shame. On. You.

Patricia Maisch had it right when she yelled those three words from the gallery following the Senate’s defeat, 54-46, of a background checks bill on gun purchases.  Maisch was present two years ago in Tucson when a gunman with an assault weapon killed six people and wounded 13, including former Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.

By agreement of Senate leaders, a 60-vote majority was needed for approval.

It’s fair to say that a lot graves were walked on yesterday.  Graves that should never have been dug in the first place.  Graves of those lost way too early — of children, teens, college students, and adults killed by gun violence at Virginia Tech and Columbine; in Aurora, Tucson, Newton, Chicago, and countless other communities.

The grave stomping was committed by 41 Republican Senators and four Democratic Senators who stubbornly and cowardly refused to support a basic bill on background checks that repeated polls showed 90 percent of Americans supported.

Those who voted “no” were 90 percent of Republicans and Democrats Mark Begich of Alaska, Max Baucus of Montana, Heidi Heitkamp of North Dakota, and Mark Pryor of Arkansas.  That’s Begich, Baucus, Heitkamp, and Pryor.

Of the Senators who voted “nay,” Erica Lafferty, the daughter of the principal at Sandy Hook, who was killed along with 20 children — first graders — and five other educators, said: “The next time there’s a mass shooting and they’re asked what they did to prevent it, they’re going to have to say nothing.”

If that isn’t enough, imagine the nerve.  The nerve of so-called leaders who knew what was right but instead voted to protect their paychecks and to remain deep in pockets of the filthy rich and cold-blooded gun lobby. “Leaders” who voted no with Newtown families and their former colleague, Giffords, in their midst. If that doesn’t turn your stomach, I don’t know what will.

To be a leader requires the ability to empathize. If a person can only understand the depth of a tragedy when it happens to him and not to his fellow citizen, he is not a leader.  If a person cannot see a problem with guns when 20 terrified first graders are mowed down in cold blood, she is not a leader.  If people cannot look into the eyes of a colleague who was nearly killed and can no longer function in Congress, and still not see a need for drastic changes, they are not leaders. They are cowards.

But make no mistake.  There is passionate resolve on the part of those who desire stricter gun laws.  The Newtown families aren’t going away.  Gabby Giffords isn’t backing down; just take a look at her editorial in today’s New York Times. West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin, the Democratic co-sponsor of the background checks bill has pledged to continue his push. (Although his Republican co-sponsor Senator Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania, sadly, has said he is moving on to other business.) The folks in Colorado aren’t giving up — that state and Connecticut recently passed stricter gun laws.

We are not giving up.  As President Obama said: this was just Round One.  Cowardice doesn’t win in the end. What is Right does.

Your voice is needed.  You must contact the officials who opposed this legislation and tell them they will not have your vote. If they don’t have your back and the backs of our babies, why should you have theirs? Go to www.senate.gov Click on the red “senators” tab and find your representative.  Then, write an email, leave a voice mail.  Do it again.  And again.  Make it the issue of the 2014 election.

More regulations – sensible regulations of which we are in dire need after losing hundreds of thousand — will happen. Comprehensive background checks.  Restrictions on magazine sizes.  Perhaps even an assault-weapons ban.

All are common-sense measures.  No brainers.

Shame on Congress if it takes another tragedy before they do their jobs.

You know how you wonder whether your one vote and one voice can make a difference?  Today’s mission is to convince you that they can. The trajectory of day-to-day politics is becoming more and more about the little people, i.e. “us,” especially given the rabid intransigence of the Conservative block of the House of Representatives.

Democrats aren’t off the hook.  More than a handful in the Senate remain opposed to marriage equality and other issues of fairness. The only way either faction will act is if they are pushed by We the People.

What should we expect from our “leaders”?

For starters, we might expect them to take the pulse of their constituents and the nation and then to act in a way that is fair and compassionate to the majority, not merely to safeguard themselves or their financial backers.  We should expect our elected officials to be willing to put their jobs on the line for what they know to be right and just.

Three measures are urgently in need of your voice:

1. Gun Control: Ninety percent of Americans believe there should be background checks on gun purchases. Seven of 10 members of the National Rifle Association support such action, in defiance of the obstinate and morally corrupt NRA leadership. In fact, the public is way ahead of Congress and the NRA leadership on this. A significant number of Americans also favor the restriction of large-capacity magazines.  FEARMONGER ALERT: This is NOT an attempt to eliminate the Second Amendment.  Hunt to thy heart’s content! Buy a handgun for protection. Buy two! But assault-style weapons?!  High-capacity magazines like those used in the slaughter of babies and their teachers in Newtown and other schools, not to mention in daily shootouts in urban centers nationwide?! C’mon.  Where does it end?

Advanced weaponry belongs in the hands of the military and law-enforcement officers, not in those of untrained, violence-loving, rogue and delusional cowboys who fancy themselves quasi federal agents.  Municipal police forces are perpetually upgrading their weaponry — at the taxpayers’ expense — in order to keep up with the crazy man-on-the-street’s latest obsessions in ammo and artillary.

Enough!

Enough of the killing.  It’s time for compassionate heroes to step forward, to change the image of America from that of a violent, blood-soaked nation to that of a warrior for peace. If you need more evidence, look no farther than the hollowed and pained face of Neil Heslin, whose six-year-old son Jesse died in the Sandy Hook massacre.  “I just keep reliving my loss,” he said.

His reality is devastating.  What’s more, it’s senseless.

If you’d like to be part of the solution, call your Congress members and insist on stiffer gun laws. Give a minute for those who lost their lives. It could be the most important thing you do all year!  Congress is expected to vote on gun measures next month. Find a contact list for your state at www.house.gov.

2.  Rape/Women’s Rights: During the past year, debates over rape — from failed Senate candidate Todd Akin’s ridiculous “legitimate rape” tirade (question: what’s an “illegitimate” rape???) to the disturbing circumstances surrounding the violation of a high-school girl by two Steubenville, Ohio football stars — the subject has been pushed to the forefront.  Maybe that’s okay.  These were not isolated incidents. There are many Akins, many Steubenvilles. We desperately need to have a national conversation about rape, or at least, many, many smaller ones.  We must educate children, as well as many adults, as to what constitutes rape and sexual assault.  We must make clear that rape doesn’t always involve intercourse or violence. But it is always about power. It is always a crime. We must rebuff the myths, such as that someone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs can somehow give consent or somehow deserves to be raped. No one deserves to be raped. We must increase the services and compassion offered to survivors and stop making excuses for perpetrators.  We must insist on more leadership, quickly enacted protections, and immediate prosecutions. So educate yourself, then talk to your friends and family.  Rape crisis and domestic violence centers nationwide would welcome your involvement and are good places for both men and women to learn as well as to become advocates in the campaign to stop sexual assault. Here in Washington, the DC Rape Crisis Center offers volunteer opportunities for area residents as well as multiple types of support and resources for survivors. Visit them online at www.dcrapecrisiscenter.org or email them at dcdcc@dcrcc.org.

3.  Gay Marriage:  In 1958, Mildred Loving, a black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man, were sentenced to a year in a Virginia prison for marrying each other.  The marriage violated the state’s the Racial Integrity Act of 1924, which prohibited marriage between people of different races. Hard to imagine, huh?

In 1967, the Lovings brought their case to the Supreme Count, which unanimously decided that Virginia’s statute was unconstitutional.  This ruling ended all race-based restrictions on marriages nationwide.

This week, the Supreme Court heard arguments on two cases dealing with same-sex  marriage.  The underpinnings of the cases echo those of Loving v. Virginia.  Both are about fairness and civil rights, nothing more. It’s hard to tell whether the court will make any changes just yet. But the arguments have catapulted the conversation and spotlighted injustices that have been felt by those in gay unions. This is good. Perhaps, in a decade or two, the fact that such discriminations occurred over gay relationships will seem as senseless as the unfairness the Lovings encountered seems to us today.

Congress has the power to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act so you might nudge lawmakers on this issue, too.  Then pat yourself on the back.  You are a hero to more of your fellow citizens than you know!

‘Tis the season of stepping up.  Religious or not, most of us show flashes of a condition known as gushing heart this time of year.  We work a shift at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.  We buy gifts for loved ones and donate gifts to children whose families can’t afford to have Christmas.  We make a contribution to our favorite charity.  We open our home to friends.  We may even find ourselves being more kind in general — waving a motorist ahead of our own vehicle, holding open doors, giving up a seat on the bus for an elderly person or someone who is physically challenged, wishing a stranger a good day, leaving a bigger tip.

Goodness, it seems, is contagious.

Nowhere was this phenomenon more evident than in the aftermaths of tragedies, such as Hurricane Sandy, and most recently, the heart-wrenching mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut that left 20 six- and seven-year-olds dead, as well as six staff members. The outpouring of sympathy and support from the community, first responders, and regular folks nationwide was immediate and overwhelming. It demonstrated goodness in especially sharp focus.

For once, race, age, religion, class, or party affiliation didn’t matter. We all felt it.  Our hearts ached.  We wanted to DO something.  We wanted to make it better.

Instinctively, our hearts broke open as wide as possible.  Our best selves stepped forward.

If only we could carry this spirit with us into the new year.  It would be such a tribute to the children and adults who died and to those who are suffering, and who will  likely continue to feel a sense of loss for years to come.

If only we could unite in meaningful ways to make our schools, theaters, office buildings, and shopping malls safer.

It’s possible.  All it takes is belief, commitment, and a willingness to lead with one’s heart. Sure, the National Rifle Association has a powerful lobby that donates millions of dollars to elect many federal representatives.  Such representatives, sadly, often place their financial greed over their duty to their country. They want to be re-elected more than they want to serve their constituents or do what is right. These individuals do not lead with their hearts. Take Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), for instance, who said — in the aftermath of Sandy Hook — that a ban on assault-style weapons “doesn’t make sense to me.”  Well, Senator Graham, it makes sense to those of us who dream of a civilized nation, to the families of all of those who died in Newtown and in other mass shootings. It makes sense to most law-enforcement professionals, many of whom broke down in tears following the Sandy Hook massacre.  They maintain it’s just plain crazy for average citizens to walk around with war-style weaponry and clips carrying 30 rounds of ammunition.

We’re not talking about outlawing hunting or stripping second-amendment rights.  I grew up eating the occasional rabbit or deer shot by one of my uncles or a friend of my grandmother’s.  Every citizen is entitled to enjoy this pastime if he or she chooses.  And every adult is entitled to protect himself. But we’re talking basic protection — say a handgun with a three-round clip or Mace — not a cache of military weapons capable of taking out dozens with the single squeeze of a trigger.

We are “the people” that the U.S. Constitution writes of. And we, the Real People, have a vote and a voice and a credit card. It is time to use these to insist that our leaders work to make our gathering places safe — from banning assault weapons and large magazines to incorporating thorough background checks for gun owners and guaranteeing health care for the mentally ill.  We need to identify troubled individuals early and perhaps consider limiting violent forms of entertainment for our youth, because violence doesn’t appear to be a random, far-fetched idea anymore. It isn’t something we need to go to the movies to witness.  It is here, among us.

If towering bullies like the NRA fails to heed our calls for change, perhaps they will sit up and take note when we use our pocketbooks to promote causes that improve public safety while boycotting purchases of automatic and semi-automatic weapons, and most importantly, voting against their candidates.

While we’re at it….while we’re being good and decent human beings, looking out for each other, maybe, just maybe we could accomplish other things. Things that will serve to sooth our battle-weary and beat-down nation. Perhaps we could seek compromise more often and insist that our elected leaders do the same.  A case in point: there is no reason why President Obama and the leadership of the House of Representatives should not be able to avert the fiscal cliff.  None.  The electorate has spoken.  More than 60 percent of voters — including many Republicans — favor a tax increase on the top two percent of income earners. Recent polls on the fiscal cliff show that 59 percent of the electorate sides with the President while 11 percent sides with Congress.  (Attention Tea Party and Mr. Boehner: this means the public is on to you; it knows that you are the fly in the ointment.) We want a deal that raises taxes on the highest income bracket and that cuts expenses.  Period.  We do not want a Plan B, Speaker Boehner.  You are too close to agreeing on a Plan A with the White House.  Do something big for a change!  Stand up to the Tea Party bullies in your caucus and strike a deal that requires the votes of BOTH Republicans and Democrats. Take a risk. Think “compromise.”  That would be the word you shuddered at during your “Sixty Minutes” interview last year.  The word you detest.  You know what? Get over it.

One more thing: we want an increase in the debt ceiling to be approved without petty politics and delay, so that our country’s credit rating doesn’t take another unnecessary dive.  I’m not sure how you sleep at night when you, single-handedly, are capable of taking down our entire economy with your obstinant and cowardly actions.

We must work together, selflessly — both parties, all people.  We must use our voices to save lives, improve the quality of living, and promote goodness. We must cease looking at every single f-ing legislative matter as an us-versus-them proposition.  We must choose leaders who are willing to risk their very jobs for the greater good. We must grow up. Or we will fail and fail miserably.

I think of all of those innocent kids who perished.  They were brimming with goodness, hope, and dreams of a bright future.

We owe it to them and to all children to create a country that promotes community and that lives up to their lofty ideals.

To do so, of course, doesn’t mean bad things won’t ever happen.  It means that we commit to do what is right and good.  What we KNOW is right and good. It means that we agree to risk our own selfish goals in the pursuit of something bigger and more meaningful.

It means that we pledge to lead with our hearts.